Footnotes to May (2014)

(An extra aside as I post this - I realise I haven’t written anything in weeks. The problem is, I actually have, I just haven’t finished writing anything. The only excuse I have is that I am busy, weekends tend to fill up with stuff to do, and finding time to write during the week while at work isn’t really a thing either.
I also know that this is a pretty quick and dirty post, but, at least it is something.)

As I left New Zealand I was given some advice from my Uncle, he suggested that I should keep a journal of all the things I do. I liked to think I had memory enough to remember things without a journal, but I also knew that I have a tendency to drink a bunch, and writing down thoughts might be a good idea.

As such, for my whole trip I have been taking notes. These notes were meant to relate to what I was doing each day, but more often they became jokes that I made, or thoughts I had.

I figure this stuff is the whole reason you are reading this blog, so, here are some notes I took during May that didn’t quite make the cut for other blogs along the way… (and some that did that I felt the need to repeat)

Yes, this is just a series of bullet points that may not really relate to things, but, it is also what it is like to be me.

 

  • When leaving a country it is important to pack. It is also important to drink all the alcohol you can, so you have less to pack. Um, take photos?
  • While gambling is fun, and drinking and fun, drinking and gambling is not always fun...
If this had been a real table, I would have had to stab myself

If this had been a real table, I would have had to stab myself

  • What do you mean I can’t drink on a helicopter? There are only 3 other people here, who is going to stop me? Who is going to get upset? What could go wrong anyway?

  • An important lesson in life is no matter what you like to think, over the ear headphones can never look cool (unless you are in the NBA)

  • Wait a second, someone named the Grand Canyon? I guess that makes sense, but, what does it say about us as a people? It was probably quite a while ago, everyone knows people were creative back then.

  • I can’t finish a meal at the Cheesecake factory? How soft am I?
    Luckily a few days later I would go back and eat even more food. Food in America is awesome.

  • All Mexican food is the same. All of it. Take meat, beans, chillies/garlic/coriander/cheese, serve in/with tortilla either soft or crispy. Have a margarita.
    Simple.
    Simple, but so, so good.

  • Learn how to use a map and plan a journey. Learn how to know which direction is which.
    This not only helps in general life, but it helps even more when trying to plan efficient journeys around a zoo.

  • The NFL draft is too long. It felt like it went on for four days, I couldn’t go to the pub without seeing the draft happening (the weird thing is, I am pretty sure it goes on for more than four days?). The problem isn’t the draft itself, but that bars play the draft (without sound), instead of playing other sports (the NBA playoffs).
    Maybe the NBA is the problem? No, that can’t be right.

  • Screw it, embrace tourist life. Also, embrace the Halls of Justice - it is where Batman lives!
  • In America Subway “restaurants” have devolved to the point they are now serving pizza. 

  • I didn’t know this was a thing before arriving at Disneyworld, but apparently most groups of people who go make t-shirts, so they are all wearing the same things. This makes sense, I guess, other than the fact you don’t go to Disneyworld for 1 day, you go for multiple days. I don’t believe these are the types of people who make multiple t-shirts so they can wear clean clothes each day, or the type of people who only wear the t-shirt on one specific day of their visit.
    Basically I am trying to say that people at Disneyworld are hot and sweaty and wear the same clothes for days on end.
    The people at Disneyworld who aren’t you, are probably gross.

  • In New Orleans they have either the smartest urinal ever, or, the worst. Either way, men are gross…
MayUrinal.jpg

Wait, why do I take so many photos in bathrooms?

  • Texas has an air conditioning problem. It is hot outside, then actually cold inside. You have to put on more clothes to be inside. Why not just not have the air conditioning on so high?

  • New York doesn’t seem to open until 10am.
    What’s the deal with that?
    (little did I know I was coming to Europe, the land where nothing opens on Sundays at all ever)

  • Maybe try a little bit more city planning Washington - I am not sure this intersection needed this many manholes…
  • Frank Zappa is awesome
  • At some point I saw ads against smacking and suggesting laws against it. My problem is I don’t remember if the ads were for or against smacking. Someone did mention that maybe there needs to be a standard to allow some level of smacking.
    My solution is a special taser parents can use. Rather than the standard 10,000 volts(?), why not tone it done to somewhere around 500? That way it is a Government approved level of child abuse! Plus, surely there would then be other uses for a semi taser.

  • I like an organised city - New York is an organised city. Maybe not in every aspect, but, at least they tell you which way to walk around park.

It is important to note the NYC parks logo is the Canadian flag

It is important to note the NYC parks logo is the Canadian flag

  • The book of Mormon was awesome.
    You really need to go see it.
    Greatest musical ever.

    Isn’t it weird that every musical seems to be able to put “Greatest musical ever” on their posters and it is fine? Doesn’t it kind of make the whole process of reviewing a bit of a joke? It is really the Internet culture where everything must be the greatest or worst ever, but, still.

    Avenue Q is the best episode of Sesame Street you’ll ever see.

  • I might not know everything about all art all the time, but I know things about art some of the time. The things I know about art tend to relate to know the things that I like.
    I liked this
MayArt.jpg

 

And that, combined with other things I have posted, about sums up May. I think.

 

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